Are you a feeler or a chooser?

Are you letting your feelings run your life?

Sometimes you have a little extra pep in your step, the sun is shining, your favorite song comes on, and all you wanna do is lace up your shoes and go for a run...Other times it's gusting 45mph winds and going for a run is the last thing you wanna do.

Some mornings you wake up with a scene from your novel in your head and can't throw the covers off fast enough to get to your computer to write it down...Other nights sitting down to work on it feels worse than work, more like torture.

Sometimes you are so in love with your partner it feels like your heart might actually burst open with joy...and other times the sound of them chewing makes you want to strangle them.

What do you do in those situations, when what you ultimately want is the last thing you want to do in the moment?

Now, I'm not talking about those times when what you really need to do is honor your body because it's sick, worn down, or recovering from an injury. Or forcing yourself to work on a project you hate. Or staying in a relationship that isn't meant for you.

I'm talking about the times when your long-term desires are in conflict with your short-term feelings. What do you do in those situations?

Do you follow your feelings, or do you make a choice to override them?

There's a lot of emphasis these days, especially in the coaching world, about honoring your feelings. And I agree: There is value in that.

Historically our society abandoned "feelings" entirely and perpetuated a "head-down, nose-to-the-grindstone, just-do-what-needs-to-get-done" mentality. It's a highly masculine approach to living - and the effects of overdoing that have been detrimental to our individual and collective physical and mental health.

But it's as though the pendulum swung from one side to the opposite. Like we've forgotten the value of doing hard things. Of sticking to our commitments.

We've also forgotten that we are complex beings. Animals at our core, our brains are programmed by biology for 3 things:

1. to avoid pain (and death)

2. to preserve energy

3. to seek pleasure

So when you said you were going to wake up early to run and the alarm clock goes off to find it's snowing, your animal self is going to tell you to hit the snooze button: Avoid the discomfort of running into a cold headwind, stay in bed to save calories, and enjoy the comfort of your weighted blanket for another 45 minutes instead.

Sure, it might feel good in the moment. But what about in a week, when your body is tight and sore from not moving? Or in a month when you've put on 5 extra pounds? Or 6 months when you've become entirely deconditioned and can't run for 10 minutes without stopping? What then?

This is where our evolution can come in to help us...if we choose it.

Because we have the ability to override that animal brain. To remind ourselves that what we want in the long run is more important than the present. To reconnect with our big-picture WHY.

You know what happens when we say yes to our true desires for our lives (not the short-term pleasures)? We end up feeling like doing it after all. Sometimes as soon as we get started. Sometimes halfway through. Sometimes not until after it's done.

And sometimes that feeling carries over until before we choose to do it again. Sometimes not, but the more you do something, the more you'll want to do it.

People think they need to feel like doing something before doing it. But the funny thing about our complex human brains - with all their evolution and layers of consciousness - is that they often work the opposite: Mostly, we feel good about doing something only after we've done it.

Why? The dopamine reward cycle: complete a task, get a hit of dopamine. The harder the task, the greater the hit.

And dopamine's not the only benefit. We get stronger, healthier, and happier by doing hard things. This is where evolution and biology come back in to help us.

The stress of doing difficult tasks forces our physical, mental, and emotional bodies to become more resilient, better preparing us for the next time we have to do something hard. (Obviously, stress to a certain degree - too much and it becomes harmful.)

But opt for a life of ease and comfort and your resiliency capacity atrophies, just like your muscles.

Yes, it's important to honor your feelings and your physical body when it's called for. AND it's important to honor your ultimate health, your overall well-being, your goals, your dreams, and your soul's greatest longings. It's learning to decipher the right choice in the moment.

How do you do that? Practice.

You learn by slowing down, listening, asking yourself difficult questions. You learn by honoring the answers through living them.

It's a simple process. But simple doesn't mean it's easy. So you have to remember (in your logical, rational, highly evolved, conscious brain): easy doesn't mean better.

What's the thing you've been leaning too heavily on your feelings and not really doing as a result? And how did this message shift that for you? Hit reply and let me know.

And when you're truly ready to commit to choices over feelings and want support in holding yourself accountable, that's what coaching is for. I am here for you.

I offer anyone who's interested 6 weeks of free 1:1 coaching. Zero strings attached. All you have to do is reach out and say you're ready to stop hitting the snooze button...

With fierce love,

Chazz