When "I Am Enough" Isn't Enough

Why Affirmations Don't Work (and What to Do Instead)

The following article will appear in the July 4, 2025, issue of the Estes Park news.

Listen, I love an inspirational quote as much as the next white girl with a facial piercing, BUT I also know that writing "I am abundant" on a sticky note and slapping it on your bathroom mirror isn’t going to magically fix your life. In fact, for some people, it can actually make things worse.

So, let’s talk about that wild world of affirmations—those bite-sized self-help mantras Instagram life coaches have been peddling since the dawn of the ring light. You know the ones:

“You are powerful.”

“You are magnetic.”

“You are a radiant being of limitless potential.”

Except…you’re also sitting in peanut butter–stained sweats bingewatching Friends for the third day in a row and wondering why “I am wealthy” hasn’t translated into your credit card balance not looking like a horror novel. 

So, why don’t affirmations work? 

Because your brain is not easily fooled.

Affirmations, as they’re commonly taught, are kind of like duct tape on a sinking boat. They may make you feel better for a second, but without the right foundation—belief, action, and clarity—they’re mostly just well-dressed lies. And your subconscious? Oh, she sees right through your “I am a millionaire” energy and responds with a hearty, “The hell you are.”

Instead of building confidence, you can end up reinforcing doubt. Here’s why:

1. Your brain calls BS.

If you’re currently drowning in debt, chanting “I am rich” doesn’t just ring false—it backfires. A 2009 study by Wood et al. found that positive affirmations made people with low self-esteem feel worse, not better. That’s because your brain rejects anything too far from what it already believes, causing internal resistance instead of support.

2. You’re not backing it up with action.

Saying “I am fit” while eating nachos on the couch is like calling yourself a bestselling author when you haven’t written a single sentence. Your brain needs evidence, not vibes. Otherwise, it just shrugs and goes back to your regularly scheduled self-sabotage loop.

3. You’re using affirmations as a Band-Aid.

If your self-worth is buried under years of shame or criticism, repeating “I am worthy” is like trying to cover a cracked foundation with an inspirational meme. It doesn’t stick. And worse—it might spotlight the gap between what you want to believe and what you actually believe, making you feel more broken than before.

4. Your affirmations are too vague.

“I am successful” means nothing without context. Successful how? In what way? Based on what actions or results? Your subconscious mind loves clarity. The more specific your language, the more your brain can grab onto it and believe it’s possible.

And here’s the real kicker: Affirmations can hurt.

 

I know it sounds dramatic, but for people with low self-esteem or high self-criticism, affirmations can actually trigger deeper feelings of inadequacy. Another study (Wiesenfeld et al., 2001) found that highly self-critical people react negatively to affirmations because they shine a spotlight on everything they don’t believe about themselves.

So if you’ve ever whispered, “I am enough,” and immediately heard your inner voice respond, “Yeah right,” you’re not broken. You’re just too smart to be gaslit by a sticky note.

Then what does work?

• Affirmations that feel believable (even if they’re a stretch).

• Statements tied to commitment and action.

• Language that connects to your deeper why.

• And sometimes, no affirmations at all—because forcing them isn’t always the flex you’ve been told it is. 

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Want to know what to do instead? I’ve created a full, BS-free guide that breaks it all down. It’s called The Anti-Affirmation Handbook, and it walks you through how to actually shift your beliefs without relying on empty mantras or spiritual sugarcoating.

And because you're a reader of my blog, I'm giving you the 30+ page guide (with practical tools like thought ladders, commitment-based affirmations, and other subconscious-friendly strategies that actually work) completely free.

Just email me at chazz@higherelevationscoaching.com to request your copy!

Because real transformation isn’t about talking yourself into something—it’s about becoming the kind of person who shows up differently.

And I promise, you don’t need to be a “radiant being of limitless potential” to get started. You just need to be someone willing to try something real.

With a Dolly Parton quote on my bathroom mirror and determination in my heart,

Chazz

professional BS detector. former affirmation junkie. coach.