Powerful Questions Deliver Powerful Answers

One of the keys to success I've discovered along my journey is that the questions you ask determine the answers you get.

From the time I could talk, I was always asking questions. I'm sure this was overwhelming for my parents. Imagine if Siri asked you questions all day long--that's what it was probably like.

But when my mom mentioned this to my pediatrician and teachers, they all told her the same thing: Encourage it. Essentially, they told her, it would serve me well.

And boy, has it ever.

Asking questions is a sign of engagement, processing, and integration. It's how we seek to understand the world around us. How we begin to make change in our lives. How we solve the world's problems. Asking questions is how all progress begins.

Over the years, I've learned that it's not just asking questions that's valuable but how potent those questions are that really matters.

Asking powerful questions is one of my superpowers. Both personally, for my own life and my friends, family, and colleagues, and professionally as a thought and movement coach.

So, I wanna share with you a few of the most powerful questions I've been asking myself and others over the past few years. Here goes:

Questions to Ask Every Day for a More Intentional, Fulfilling Life

• What's my success plan for the day? This is different from a to-do list, which includes ALL the things you hope to accomplish that day and often comes with some negative emotion or other. A success plan limits your focus to the 3-5 most important tasks for you to accomplish in order to move you forward in the direction you desire.

• How do I want to feel today? After you write your success plan for the day, decide how you want to feel as you check things off that list. I can guarantee that never once will you write overwhelmed, frantic, or exhausted--and yet, that's often how you will feel without setting this intention. Then, when you feel yourself get off track emotionally, simply remind yourself of the desired feeling and adjust how you're approaching the tasks to realign--or take a break if you need to.

• What am I grateful for? I know there's nothing novel or revelatory about this one--all the cool kids have already been asking this one for years--but it's important because it works to change your mindset and program you to look for more things to be grateful for every day.

Questions for When Things Get Hard

• What do I need right now? This shrinks the overwhelm from ALL the things you have to do/figure out/overcome someday/eventually/in the future to the present moment. Right here, right now, what do you need? It could be as simple as drink water, make sure to nourish yourself with a healthy meal, or call a friend and ask them to come sit with you.

• How much will this matter a year/month/week from now? This helps assess how much energy to give to the current situation. (Spoiler alert: It's almost always not very much.)

• Is the story I'm telling myself about this true/THE only truth? Sometimes we latch onto a story about something out of the gate only to discover it's not really accurate in the end. Or it's only partially accurate. Or sometimes it's fully accurate AND there's another story that's also accurate. (I know, it's confusing. But two or more completely contradictory things can be true at the same time. That's one of the many things that makes humaning so hard.)

• How can I think more valuably about this? (Note: I did NOT say "more positively." We're not about spiritual bypassing here. There's value in hardship and negativity too.)

Questions for Envisioning an Exciting Future (i.e., Goal Setting)

• Who loses when I don't win? Because your life isn't just about you. It's about everyone you know and love. And it's about the world as a whole. When you don't win, you don't get to share those wins with everyone around you.

• What's my vision for the next [week, month, quarter, year, 5 years, etc.]?

• Why does this thing [the vision from above] matter to me x7? I call this exercise "7 Layers of Why." Whenever you decide you want something, ask yourself why. Take that answer, whatever it is, and ask yourself again, 'Why do I want this thing?' Repeat this process until you've asked, and answered, the question a total of 7 times. Whenever I do this exercise with clients, I find that 1 of 2 things happens: They either discover they don't really want the thing they say they want (they're just shoulding on themselves) OR they strengthen their why so much it compels them into action. Their why shifts from a simple, obvious answer to something so much deeper, more profound. Often, that means pivoting from how it will affect you as an individual to the difference it will make for others (see the first question in this section above).

• When I get to the end of my life and ask my last 'What have I done?', what do I want my answer to be?

• Why not me? This is the complete opposite of asking the question 'Why me?' when things appear to go wrong. 'Why not me?' helps to smash through limiting beliefs holding you back from truly living in your zone of genius.

Questions for Deepening Connection in Relationships

• What's been making you smile lately? (I've shared about this already here.)

• What's real for you right now?

• What's been keeping you up at night?

• How are you, really? It's amazing how much this one extra word changes the conversation.

• How can I show you I love you better?

Which of these questions was most valuable/thought-provoking for you? Share in the comments.

And, if the idea of asking more powerful questions in your life is resonating with you, reach out. Coaching is all about asking the most provocative questions to get you the answers and results you desire for your life.

Want to experience the immediate impact of great questions in real time? Email me to join my newsletter and I'll send you the link to join me live next Saturday, March 18, for my signature YIn & the Power of the Pen yoga-journaling hybrid session. It's 45 minutes dedicated to asking and answering some truly transformative questions. Can't wait to see you there!