3 "Helpful" Sayings that Are Actually Lies

These 3 sayings are holding you back from the life you truly desire. Stop saying them if you want to reclaim your power, heal from past heartache, & finally see progress.

Y'all know I love me a good quote as much as the next double English major.

I read a different one every time I take a sip of water from my Nalgene, sit at my desk and stare at my bulletin board for inspiration, put on makeup in the bathroom mirror, or even turn off the light as I walk out the front door.

I post these words as reminders to myself of what is good, beautiful, true, possible.

But as much as I love these sort of sayings, I absolutely cannot stand a culturally accepted quip that has been accepted as "helpful" when it is, in fact, a harmful lie that keeps people stuck.

These 3 in particular are ones I am constantly disproving to my clients. Every time I do, they reclaim more of their inherent power. I'm sharing them with you here so you can do the same.

1. Knowledge is power. False. Knowledge is just information. What you decide to DO with that information is where your power lies.    I once had a patient who'd read every diet book ever published. I'm exaggerating only slightly. But to be completely honest, she probably knew more about nutrition than I did working as a nutritionist.    And yet, she was morbidly obese. Despite all this clinical knowledge and years of therapy to understand her food addiction, her health was in such a dire state her doctor told her point blank: "You are killing yourself slowly with food."   She knew what to do, but she wasn't actually doing anything about it. And she's certainly not alone in this.   We are suffering from a cultural epidemic that says if you just take this training, get this certification, go back to school for it, then you'll finally be ready to begin your weight release journey, start your own business, write your first novel, or whatever else it is you dream of doing.   You don't need to know anything more than you do right now to get started. You can (and most certainly will) learn more as you go along. But getting started right now, without knowing all you do not know, is your real power move.

1. Time heals everything. Nope. Time heals nothing. All time does is give you distance and perspective. What you do with that space determines whether or not you heal.   I know a woman who is still angry and bitter about something that happened to her 60 years ago. I know another who is completely healed from a horrendous tragedy she suffered only a year and a half ago.   Both of these women went to therapy. Both of them have "had time" to heal (one of them a lot more than the other). Still, only one of them actually did so.   In talking with the first woman's husband, he said, "She'll never get over it because she doesn't want to." And he's right.   You don't necessarily need "more time" to get over that breakup, learn to trust again, regain your confidence, or mend the heartache you've been carrying around. (Though if it's only recently happened, please know I am by no means trying to rush you through healing—I never condone spiritual bypassing.)   What you do absolutely need is to decide what story you want to tell about the hurt and to start living accordingly.  
   

2. Change takes time. I call BS. Change is instantaneous. It's progress, on the other hand, that takes time.   My grandmother was a 2-pack-a-day smoker over 40 years. She knew it was bad for her, but she made no grand plans to quit.   Until one day she woke up and she was just done. Tired of feeling out of breath all the time doing even the simplest of tasks, she made up her mind that morning when she got out of bed: She was no longer a smoker.   Of course, her body didn't get that memo right away. It was weeks before she saw any improvement in her breathing, months before her lab results started to improve. But it did eventually come.   It can, and does, happen just like that. In fact, it's always happening like that. You are constantly changing from moment to moment. One minute you're sad, the next you're happy. One day you're not an exerciser, the next you are.   The problem is you change back again before you see the progress.   Change is energetic. That's what makes it instantaneous. Progress is the cumulation of that energy over time. That's why it takes longer to see it. (There's a lesson in here about quantum physics and so-called manifestation, but we'll save that for another time.)   You are free to change your life right now, in this very moment. What are you changing?

Which of these did you most need to hear today? How was holding onto your belief in that saying holding you back in your life? Hit reply and share with me.

And yes, of course, there will be more of these to come...

With Fierce Love,

Chazz