18 Years Ago Today I Lost Everything

It was the middle of the night when my mom woke me up...

"Get dressed warm, grab your dog, and get out!" she said.

Having gotten in only a few hours before after going out with friends, I was exhausted and confused. "Huh?" I asked. "What?"

"The smoke alarm's going off. You need to get up. Get dressed warm, get your dog, and get out."

I thought it had to be a malfunction. The smoke alarm had done that before, after all, so why the need for such concern? But when I got out of bed and looked down the hallway, I could see it: smoke, and a lot of it. There was no denying that this was real.

I did exactly as my mom had instructed.

As I watched the firemen working to put out the 30-plus-foot flames blowing over my childhood home, I thought to myself, How are we ever gonna get through this? This isn't fair. We have so little already, and it's all being taken away from us.

Now, when I say my single mother living on a Social Security disability income and I barely made ends meet, I mean our ends very often did not meet. Bills went unpaid, services got terminated, weeks turned into months between grocery trips...

So as I sat there watching it all go up in flames, I was paralyzed by fear and uncertainty. I even felt myself growing angry. We're never gonna get over this, I thought. I'm never gonna get through this. It's never going to be okay.

And then I heard a voice, what I have come to refer to over the years as The Voice. It simply said, "It's all gonna be okay. Just trust." I tried to argue with it, but again it said, simply, "Just trust."

At the time, I was deeply religious, so I said a prayer. I didn't understand AT ALL what was happening, let alone why. And I certainly could not see how it would all work out. But in that moment I made a decision to trust. To not allow doubt or worry to enter my mind ever again about that situation.

From that moment on, I can honestly say I didn't.

Now, I'm not saying that things were easy. They certainly were not. I'm also not saying I didn't feel a whole lot of other negative emotions--sadness, confusion, a loss of identity. But I never worried about things working out. Somehow I stepped into a current of faith and never looked back.

This isn't to say I spiritually bypassed the event at all. Rather, I walked straight through the crumbling of my foundation, the undoing of everything I thought I knew to be true about myself, who I was, what I valued, what I planned to do with my life... I just never worried along the way.

I was telling someone about this recently, and she asked, "What did that voice sound like?"

At the time, because of my religious background, I would have said it sounded like God was speaking to me.

But looking back, having heard The Voice many times since then, I know it actually sounds a lot like me. Except it's clearer, more certain. It speaks with an undeniable authority. Really, it is my voice...but it's not like I'm speaking to myself exactly.

The Voice comes from a place my conscious, logical mind can't access.

Over the years, as I've gotten better at hearing it, it's never led me wrong. It's only when I haven't listened to it that I find myself challenged.

There's no way of knowing if this particular instance of losing my house to a fire would have turned out any differently if I had worried. What I can say with certainty, though, is that my experience of the event would have been a lot different. For sure, a lot more struggle would have been involved.

But there wasn't. Because I listened to The Voice.

I share this story because it demonstrates my why as a coach. The reason I couldn't stay working as a bartender any longer, despite making six figures, having ultimate flexibility, loving my employer, and the numerous other benefits.

I went full time as a thought & movement coach because I believe fully in the inherent power everyone has to choose their thoughts--and to change their reality as a result.

I also believe whole heartedly that everyone has the ability to connect with their own version of The Voice, whether they call it the same or their Inner Knowing, Intuition, Higher Self, God--the name doesn't matter.

Yet, so few people are actually listening. They can't hear it above all the noise in their life. They don't slow down and get quiet enough to listen. Or they purposefully try to drown it out--because honoring that voice would require them to get pretty darn uncomfortable.

I designed my next group coaching program all around guiding people to listen their own Voice Within. Together, we will slow down, listen, and then honor the message by following its direction.

Together, we will hold each other accountable.

Together, we will support one another when it gets uncomfortable. And it will.

But I know--because I have walked that path more times than I can count now--that following your own Inner Knowing will ultimately lead you to the most amazing rewards, to a life that is infinitely better than the one you give up to follow it.

All you have to do is listen to that voice and honor it.

If that voice is speaking to you to find out more, sign up here.

And if it's not, I honor that, fully.

With Fierce Love,

Chazz